Here, There, and Everywhere

Over the years these girls have grown to be sisters to me. I love them all dearly. I am beginning to come to the realization that they will not be around forever. Marriages, children, new jobs, mission trips, are all pulling us in different directions. It is a hard fact to face, and I often find myself avoiding the issue entirely. I just cannot imagine my life without them. I realize that God will bring new people into my life, but there is something about old friends. Seeing them is like going home after you have been away for a long time. They are familiar and they know me almost better than I know myself. Each one of them is amazingly unique and brings wonderful blessings to our group. We will always be friends, but it is different now. Girls nights are becoming fewer and fewer, and everyone seems to be moving on. I am moving forward as well, but my heart is still with them all. I miss them beyond words, and somedays I find myself yearning for their companionship. I think living alone has given me the chance to be more reflective about my life, and it also creates a sense of loneliness and longing for them, my girls, my friends, my sisters. Look at the picture into the eyes and hearts of each one and you might see my heart there. They are the ones that led me to Christ, challenged my spirit, and changed my life. It is because of them that I am who I am. They are a part of me and losing them requires me to lose a part of myself. This I am not ready for. I do not want to let go. What a harsh and cruel fact of life this is. I have known for a while this time would come, but it seems to soon. I guess now is the time for choices. Either hold on as tightly as I can, or let them go. Holding on right now seems like an impossible task, and letting them go is to painful. Maybe this decision will have to wait. It will have to wait for Megan's baby to arrive, for Lauren and Brooke to board the plane for Spain, for Ashley to become famous, for Liz to move away, and for all the rest to find new lives. Just thinking about this time brings a terrible sting to my eyes and an ache in my heart. Where do I go from here? What do I do?