A pretty box with ribbon and bows...

There is nothing more beautiful than a pretty box tied with ribbons and bows under a Christmas tree. It symbolizes love, friendship, sacrifice, and life wonderfully packaged as a gift. My life however is not a pretty box, but I spend my days trying to morph my thoughts, beliefs, looks, my entire life into that box. For some reason I feel like I need to do everything a certain way, look a certain way, feel a certain way, and act a certain way... my version of perfection. However, no matter how hard I try there is no part of my life that will fit the mold of the pretty box I hold in my mind. I am never ahead of my to-do list, I am not a model, I do not "feel" like I should, and I do not act the way I am suppose to. I am not normal. Then..... I wonder..... does the truth I have in my head about how I should be match the truth in my heart of who I actually am? I know it doesn't. I will never be 5'10, my house will never stay completely organized, and I will constantly do the things I do not want to do. Up until this exact moment I allowed these thoughts to consume my mind. But then I realized something. That is all they are... thoughts. Just stupid, useless, heartbreaking thoughts that hold my life in captivity. Its time to feast eternally on the living word, to take in the real truth of my life and not what I perceive myself to be, or hope that I will become. It is time to throw my pretty box with ribbon and bows away and replace it with the beaten and ugly hands of Grace.