tonight

Tonight I am in one of those contemplative moods where no matter what I do or think about I just feel off... like something is missing. Some nights I get like this without a clue as to what I can attribute it to. Tonight, well, tonight is not one of those nights. I know exactly the reason for my deep thoughts and loneliness. It is actually a few things. The first is living alone. I guess it just comes with the territory. The second I guess I can blame on nostalgia... and because of these two conspirators I find myself listening to sad songs and blogging. I guess I am making the assumption that this particular blog will not be read, but instead will find its way out into the great abyss of the world of bloggerdom. Since my mind is constantly on the move these days, I find it difficult to keep up. So I come here to write and release without any expectation of revelation or response. You see, in a journal each page is written on, the cover closes, and it is put away in a drawer or on a shelf. In the blogging world, I can write on a page, click publish, and send my thoughts elsewhere. For a lack of a better phrase, I would venture to say that clicking that button is almost like a religious experience. It allows me to let it all go. So tonight, that is what I will do. I will click the publish button and then, maybe then, a feeling of sweet release will follow.