Today was a great day. Have you ever had a day full of nothing special but left you feeling really good? Well today was one of those days. I really enjoyed my kids today, I got to spend time with a friend, went shopping, and now I am doing laundry and listening to Shane and Shane. Life is good. Simple and good. I hope all of you are well also.


Love,

Katie

miles davis and bowtie pasta

I am not quite sure why, but whenever I make pasta I am suddenly in the mood to turn off the television and listen to Miles Davis. I love sitting on my couch to eat while his crazy melodies fill my space. If makes me feel as if I am in a room full of people in a sexy high rise restaurant over looking the city. I imagine myself in a fancy sequin dress just sitting back and enjoying myself. But, alas, it is just me and my couch.... maybe I will watch tv tonight.

Why are our people not there

Where are the people that know them
Where are the people that care
Where are the people that see them
Why are our people not there

Who will heal the sickness
Who will ease the pain
Who will go to help them
Why are our people not there

Why are the people alone there
Why are the people suffering so
Why are the people not heard
Why are our people not there

How can I go on living the way that I do
How can I go on pretending I never saw
How can I go on with my life here
Why are our people not there

The people there need salvation
The people there need healing
The people there need peace
Why are our people not there

Everyone needs Jesus
Everyone needs hope
Everyone needs to belong
Why are our people not there

I feel alone in my wonder
I feel alone in my struggle
I feel alone in my journey
Why are our people not there

My heart is in the people of China, in India, and Spain
My heart is in the people of Brazil, in Morocco , and Ukraine
My heart is in the people of Chad, in the Congo, and Hungary
Why are our people not there

My heart will not rest till I am out there
My heart will not rest till I am gone
My heart will not rest till I am sent there
Why are our people not there

I will pray till I get there
I will pray till I'm gone
I will pray till I'm sent there
Why are our people not there

Last Week
I came from the land of poverty
I came from the land of ignorance
i came from the land of the struggle
I came from the land of the lost

I came from the land of idols
I came from the land of chaos
I came from the land of dirt
I came from the land of sickness

I came from the land of beggars
I came from the land of pain
I came from the land of the hopeless
I came from the land of rain


Right now
I live in the land of new
I live in the land of trust
I live in the land of freedom
I live in the land of too much

I live in the land of size matters
I live in the land of clean
I live in the land of money
I live in the land of greed

I live in the land of convenience
I live in the land of opportunity
I live in the land of climbing ladders
I live in the land of the blessed


From here
I strive for the land of perfection
I strive for the land of love
I strive for the land of grace
I strive for the Winged Dove

I strive for the land of peace
I strive for the land of joy
I strive for the land of hope
I strive for His only born

I strive for the land of holiness
I strive for the land of justice
I strive for the land of the guiltless
I strive for His Righteousness

Forever

I will live for his every blessing
I will live for his every word
I will live for his every message
I will live for his precious gift

I will live for his perfection
I will live for his love
I will live for his song
I will live for his presence

I will live for his wisdom
I will live for his creation
I will live for his forgiveness
I will live for his Great Commission

Tuesday count down

Its Tuesday and I am leaving in three days.... I am getting excited now and no longer feel scared. Thank you all for your prayers. Keep praying as I prepare to go!

did someone say India?

Hello Folks,

It is Monday and I leave on Friday. Please pray for my trip. The whole trip is about 24 hours including 3 plane rides and an exciting trip up the mountains in a very crowded van. It is a medical mission, so pray I don't pass out! Ill keep you updated throughout the week about things as they come up. If you want to see where we are going type in Sikkim and Siliguri in google images.... it will give you an idea!

nothing to fear but fear itself.

There really is nothing to fear but fear itself. Sometimes I find myself in a state of fear. Not extreme knock your socks off kind of fear, but the fear that comes softly. The kind that makes you think something is wrong but you just are not quite sure what. I once thought I was alone in this, but I realize now I am not. It just comes sometimes without warning or reason and makes you want to hide out for a while away from everyone and everything. Maybe it is caused by stress or maybe it is spiritual warfare. Whatever it is, it is enough to stop you and prevent you from the wonderful things that may come your way. God says He will never leave me nor forsake me, and I believe that. But even as I write this I hear emergency sirens off in the distance which is an ever present reminder of my humanness, and a reminder that God may be in control, but that does not mean bad things will not happen. It also does not mean that spiritual warfare does not exist. I am living proof of that.

Small mountains for God, big miracles for me

As many of you already know I am going to India for a few weeks in September on a mission trip. We are going to be in the northern mountains evangelizing to the slaves who work in the tea fields. Incredible, right? The past few weeks I have been raising financial support for my trip, and the money had been coming in, but it was coming in very slowly. I found out at our meeting last Wednesday that I still needed $1,100 dollars and I only had till Sunday at 6 to get it in. It was then I began getting nervous. I was not doubting that God could get me the money, but I did start to doubt if I was meant to go... until yesterday. Here is the story:


Thursday I began calling everyone I had sent a letter to asking them for money. Most of the people I called said they were not able to give, which left me with only Sunday to raise the money. Lately my job has been very demanding and I had two engagements on Friday and Saturday that I could not miss. So, Sunday it was. I got to church on Sunday very hopeful and knowing that God would provide. I went to Sunday school telling everyone how much I needed to raise, and a few people began to empty their wallets, $5 dollars here, $20 there. It was not much, but it was a start and I was thankful for every penny. When I got to the service I began to get nervous because I knew afterwards I had to inform my pastor on whether or not I had the money. The service ended, and I only had about $35. I walked downstairs to meet a few girls from the youth feeling completely defeated. When I saw my friends my eyes filled with tears, and I lost all control of myself. Determined, my new buddies Abbey and Samantha, began calling all of their friends asking to support me. Abbey immediately thought of her uncle and called him. She was on the phone with him for what seemed like forever, and when she finally hung up she said he would discuss it with his wife and call us back. The rest of that afternoon passed at a snail's pace. When I got to church I talked with a few people and got about $50 more. During the middle of the service I received a text message from Abbey saying her uncle, a man I had never met, was willing to give me $500. That meant I really only needed about $515 more. When I told my pastor what had happened he said that I had to decide that night if I wanted him to purchase the plane ticket. I knew then, after getting a check from a stranger that I could not say no. So, I went out on a limb and promised him that if I did not get the money from my supporters I would write him a check for an amount that I did not have. He agreed to pay my balance as long as I had the money at the church the next night by 6:00 PM

Today when I woke up I knew my only mission was to get that money. I went around my school asking teachers, and by the end of the day I left work with $135.... down to $380. My friend Gail called and asked me to come over to her house and she met me at the door with a $50 check... $330. I ran in to Chickfila to get some dinner and asked around a few people working there and was shot down, but then Abbey called again and said her mom had a check for me. So I drove back across town to receive a $100 check...$230. I called my Sunday school teacher and he asked me to meet him at church. When I got there he gave me $200. At 5:55 I was thirty dollars short, so I walked around the fellowship hall asking for the thirty dollars. I finally heard a voice that said, "I have thirty dolllars!" By the time she handed me the check it was at exactly 6:00 PM all my money for my plane ticket was in.

And Jesus said, "I will never leave you nor forsake you... whatever you ask in my name you will have..."
Praise the Lord.

Lately

About a week ago I got back from a mission trip to Clarkston, Ga which is really close to Stone Mountain. Although the drive down there was less than an hour, I felt like I was in another country. It was the hardest mission trip I have ever been on because of the children and staff we worked with. After the trip was over I realized that my purpose of the trip was to serve our volunteers instead of the kids. I prepared most of our materials before we left, so my job was to just help when needed. During the trip I met many new people, some of them being high school students. I have discovered a wonderful opportunity to mentor a few of these girls and I cannot wait to see what the next year holds.

...and Jesus said "GO"

I'm ready to go. I'm ready to get out there and share the gospel. My heart aches for Scotland, and the more I think about it the more I feel like I want to go there. I have no clue what God has in store, but I am so ready that I feel heartbroken that I cannot be where he will one day send me. Working at the church this summer has not only taught me so much, but it has increased my passion for missions so much that I have almost forgotten that I am still a teacher for one more year. All I know is Jesus is the only one who can get me through this next year, he will be the one to remind me my time is just around the corner. In fact, it is exactly one year away. So I encourage all of you to stay posted on this blog as I take you with me through the journey of preparing to be a missionary. Its going to be incredible.

Tamar

Accompanied by virgin companions, dressed a sack cloth, covered in ashes, Tamar approached Him. He was seated on a throne high and exalted, and the train of His robe filled the temple. Above Him were seraphs each with six wings: With two wings they covered their faces, with two they covered their feet, and with two they were flying. And they were calling to one another: "Holy, holy, holy is the Lord Almighty; the whole earth is filled with his glory. As the throne grows closer and closer in the dark eyes of Tamar, she thinks about how unworthy she is; she thinks that she shouldn't be here. As she finally approached the steps of this heavenly realm she fell to her feet in reverence, but mostly in grief. Her life had been taken from her, and she had grown to believe her worthlessness. But the Father, he saw her, stroked her hair with his gentle hand and found her face under her shiny dark hair.Tamar shook with fear, and could not bring herself to look at him. But the Lord, with his grace, held Tamar's face in both his hands and softly kissed her forehead and both her cheeks. As He did this a tear fell from her empty eyes. Without so much as a whisper the Lord cleaned the ashes from her body with his hair, removed her sack cloth, and clothed her with a beautiful gown woven with gold. He then placed a deep purple robe around her shoulders covered in jewels. He took her by the hand, led her down the stairs, and held her as they danced together. The heavenly hosts singing behind them. As Tamar wept and became weaker and weaker, the Lord picked her up and held her close as they continued to dance. He then leaned into her and whispered, "Tamar, beloved, you are no longer a slave to your ashes and your sack cloth. You are mine. You are my princess." At that point Tamar's body fell limp in His arms and she stayed there all night as He sang over her and carried her as they danced.

Oh! One more thing.... miles davis is excellent to accompany your summer evenings.

sum sum summertime

Is it just me or is it hard to stay motivated during the summer? During the school year I am motivated by lack of time, but now all I have is time. I know you are thinking, "well at least you don't have to work in the summer!" I know, I know, I am one of the lucky ones, but it is very difficult to go from having not enough time in the day to having all day! I have things I could be working on, but motivation is anywhere but present. I did however find the time to find the hottest snake skin heels today and a really cute black bathing suit. Neither of these were on my to-do list, but it was much more fun buying heels to go with my new pencil skirt than staying here and working on things. So all in all I guess I did accomplish a few things. :) I guess tonight I will get lost in my Bible studies and prepare for my class I am teaching tomorrow evening. If you find yourself bored and reading this... call me... I will probably love the distraction. ;)

its been a while....

Well I realize it has been a while since my last post, so I just thought I would give you an update on my life for those of you who read my blog.... All things are great I am going to India in the fall and I am in the process of raising support for this mission. I need your help financially, but I also need your prayer support. I will be going with a group to minister to the slaves of the tea fields in India. We will be going door to door in the slums telling people about the miracle of life, JESUS CHRIST! I appreciate any support you can give me! God is doing great works and I am being continually blessed everyday. It is amazing because I am a very inconsistent person and I often times let my emotions get in the way of things. For example, if I do not feel like doing something at that moment, but I know I have to I have noticed I kindof get an attitude. Like tonight for example, I wanted to stay home and rest rather than go to church. However, God knew I needed the fellowship. When I got there I was blessed by hugs, words of encouragement, prayer, and devotion. I left feeling restored and renewed. God is good, and I am so glad he knows me better than I know myself. Somebody needs to keep me in line, and I don't do a very good job at that, but he does! Thanks to those of you who read my posts, it means alot to know you care about my thoughts. I write not only for myself, but to encourage you. I hope you are blessed by my page as much as I am blessed by you reading it! Thanks again, Katie

tonight

Tonight I am in one of those contemplative moods where no matter what I do or think about I just feel off... like something is missing. Some nights I get like this without a clue as to what I can attribute it to. Tonight, well, tonight is not one of those nights. I know exactly the reason for my deep thoughts and loneliness. It is actually a few things. The first is living alone. I guess it just comes with the territory. The second I guess I can blame on nostalgia... and because of these two conspirators I find myself listening to sad songs and blogging. I guess I am making the assumption that this particular blog will not be read, but instead will find its way out into the great abyss of the world of bloggerdom. Since my mind is constantly on the move these days, I find it difficult to keep up. So I come here to write and release without any expectation of revelation or response. You see, in a journal each page is written on, the cover closes, and it is put away in a drawer or on a shelf. In the blogging world, I can write on a page, click publish, and send my thoughts elsewhere. For a lack of a better phrase, I would venture to say that clicking that button is almost like a religious experience. It allows me to let it all go. So tonight, that is what I will do. I will click the publish button and then, maybe then, a feeling of sweet release will follow.

INVINCIBLE

Today was a rough day. It was one of those days where you wake up in the morning and none of your clothes look good on, you feel ugly, and you can't seem to do anything right. This is how my day started, and it just continued to get worse from there. Instead of my mood improving I became more and more frustrated because of a series of events that just seemed to keep falling on me like dominoes. When it rains... it pours.... As I grow and mature I am beginning to see the validity in this saying. By the end of the work day I was crying, and not just tears, but the ugly cry. It wasn't any certain event, but it was the compilation of how I was feeling about myself and everything else that had happened. Although I was experiencing a breakdown, work continued and life kept moving despite the fact that all I wanted to do was go home and go back to bed. I do not know what God was trying to teach me out of this, but I do know I learned something. It may sound ridiculous, but I learned that I am not invincible. Sometimes I vainly think that nothing bad could ever happen to me, and today it did. I have been humbled.....

A pretty box with ribbon and bows...

There is nothing more beautiful than a pretty box tied with ribbons and bows under a Christmas tree. It symbolizes love, friendship, sacrifice, and life wonderfully packaged as a gift. My life however is not a pretty box, but I spend my days trying to morph my thoughts, beliefs, looks, my entire life into that box. For some reason I feel like I need to do everything a certain way, look a certain way, feel a certain way, and act a certain way... my version of perfection. However, no matter how hard I try there is no part of my life that will fit the mold of the pretty box I hold in my mind. I am never ahead of my to-do list, I am not a model, I do not "feel" like I should, and I do not act the way I am suppose to. I am not normal. Then..... I wonder..... does the truth I have in my head about how I should be match the truth in my heart of who I actually am? I know it doesn't. I will never be 5'10, my house will never stay completely organized, and I will constantly do the things I do not want to do. Up until this exact moment I allowed these thoughts to consume my mind. But then I realized something. That is all they are... thoughts. Just stupid, useless, heartbreaking thoughts that hold my life in captivity. Its time to feast eternally on the living word, to take in the real truth of my life and not what I perceive myself to be, or hope that I will become. It is time to throw my pretty box with ribbon and bows away and replace it with the beaten and ugly hands of Grace.

Here, There, and Everywhere

Over the years these girls have grown to be sisters to me. I love them all dearly. I am beginning to come to the realization that they will not be around forever. Marriages, children, new jobs, mission trips, are all pulling us in different directions. It is a hard fact to face, and I often find myself avoiding the issue entirely. I just cannot imagine my life without them. I realize that God will bring new people into my life, but there is something about old friends. Seeing them is like going home after you have been away for a long time. They are familiar and they know me almost better than I know myself. Each one of them is amazingly unique and brings wonderful blessings to our group. We will always be friends, but it is different now. Girls nights are becoming fewer and fewer, and everyone seems to be moving on. I am moving forward as well, but my heart is still with them all. I miss them beyond words, and somedays I find myself yearning for their companionship. I think living alone has given me the chance to be more reflective about my life, and it also creates a sense of loneliness and longing for them, my girls, my friends, my sisters. Look at the picture into the eyes and hearts of each one and you might see my heart there. They are the ones that led me to Christ, challenged my spirit, and changed my life. It is because of them that I am who I am. They are a part of me and losing them requires me to lose a part of myself. This I am not ready for. I do not want to let go. What a harsh and cruel fact of life this is. I have known for a while this time would come, but it seems to soon. I guess now is the time for choices. Either hold on as tightly as I can, or let them go. Holding on right now seems like an impossible task, and letting them go is to painful. Maybe this decision will have to wait. It will have to wait for Megan's baby to arrive, for Lauren and Brooke to board the plane for Spain, for Ashley to become famous, for Liz to move away, and for all the rest to find new lives. Just thinking about this time brings a terrible sting to my eyes and an ache in my heart. Where do I go from here? What do I do?

Fallin asleep to the sound of stars shooting round the moon. But I cant watch them fly tonight baby...Im to busy watching you. I guess your smile is the Son's way of lighting up whats dark. So shine, shine, shine for me baby. It only takes a spark.

~Matt Wertz
This is what I am looking for.

WOW

http://www.godtube.com/view_video.php?viewkey=152b5103d741aca61093

Well I did it. I have finally completed my masters. Today I wrote my final paper, and now all that is left is my portfolio. Although the weeks seemed to go by very slowly, I also feel like the time went by quickly. I now can say I am a master at teaching children how to read.... HOW COOL IS THAT!?! I feel like I should be celebrating but I am not quite sure how to celebrate for this accomplishment..... any ideas?

assisted living and waffle house.

Today has been an interesting day full of various emotions. I never thought that an assisted living home would be a place of comic relief. In my mind assisted living means you are almost to the jumping off point. In fact I thought of it as one of the most depressing places a person can go. However, it just isn't so.  There is something comical to me about the dining hall in this place. Today my cousin and I went to see my grandfather before lunch. Eventually one of the nurses came in and told us it was time to eat. So, Grandfather, Jess, and I all walk to the elevator to go downstairs to the dining hall. Ok. I want you to think about this. An elevator? I mean those doors close pretty fast. How in the world is a person with a walker suppose to make it out of an elevator in one piece? Sometimes I cannot even make it out of an elevator without it nearly cutting off one of my limbs! Well, Jessica and I must have had the same thought because she immediately put her hand in front of the door to keep it from closing. An act, although thoughtful, was completely unnecessary. They have programmed the elevator to stay open for what seems like an eternity! Hahaha. I mean I think I could have left the elevator and ran a lap around the building before that door would have closed on me.  Anyway, after we got of the elevator we walk into the dining hall. And we were a bit late because we had been visiting. As soon as we walk in they all start to talk. Who are they? Why are they here? It was as if visitors determined your popularity at this place. Then I saw it. The line of walkers parked up against the wall. I had to bite my lip to keep from laughing. Every person walks in and parks their walker like they are going to a drive in moving before they sit down. But it gets better. They say birds of a feather flock together, well this could not be more true of Grandfather's dining posse. There are about seven of them that all sit at the same table. Grandfather, who has dementia, along with three other males who also have dementia. There is also a blind women with a mind as sharp as a tack and a man that mumbles every word he says. Here is the conversation (and keep in mind my grandfather is a former reverend with a VERY dry personality and completely straight laced):

Grandfather: (completely and obviously bragging) These are my beautiful granddaughters. They came to visit me today.

Blind lady: Nice to meet you ladies

Mumbling guy: totally not sure what he said

Grandfather: (under his breath) This guy talks all the time. I don't know what the hell he is saying.

Bahahahahahahah. I mean just imagine it. Never in my life. Thats all I can say.

Then later, the mood of the day completely changed. My struggle lately is wanting to have friends close by to talk to but not having any. Don't misunderstand I have friends, but living in Gainesville I have to spend the majority of my free time alone. I don't really have any friends here. So after my visit I was dreading going home and working on things.  But, I decided to call a friend to meet me and work on things together. We ended up at Waffle House talking for about four hours. Philosophizing over coffee and pecan waffles. This is what I got from the conversation:

God is simple. He is black and white, yet He is complex in His simplicity. We have choice when it comes to believing in him, and there are four options to believing in God: (A)There is a God and you believe in Him, (B)There is a God and you do not believe in Him, (C)There is not a God and you believe in Him, or (D)There is not a God and you don't believe in Him. I mean think about those options. It is mind blowing to me. Imagine yourself in each situation. Option B you are risking everything, option A you can lose nothing, option C you lose nothing, and option D gives you no reason for living. These conversations thrill me, challenge me, and enlighten me and I hope reading this does the same for you.

Crush on, Crush off

Last night I was finally able to have some adult conversation. Teaching five year olds for a living makes your realize how important this is. Considering I live in Gainesville, where no one else is, I find myself talking to five year olds more than adults. So last night Love invited me to tag along with her friends. Not only was I able to talk to adults, but I was involved in intriguing conversation. I love being able to catch a glimpse into people's lives, their struggles, their joys, and what motivates them. Last night it just happened to be Jason Tatum. What an inspiring person. Who knew he was such a wonderful writer and eloquent speaker. I was given the privilege of hearing his life story last night... wow is all I can say.

It was also interesting how I ran into people I have not seen in years. Eli for one. I knew I missed her, but did not realize how much. Seeing her was like going home for Christmas. It was familiar and reminded me of memories I had left behind. I love old friends. They remind you of who you are and where you have been. Eliza is one of those people that makes you feel special. When you talk to her you feel as if you are the only person who exists. She remembers people that you figure she has forgotten, asks about things you once struggled with, and encourages you in all the new decisions she has not been a part of.  Finding a friend like her is like finding a  needle in a haystack. And even though it has been years since I have seen her I still feel as if I hit the jackpot. So thanks for showing up last night Eli and thanks to everyone else for wonderful conversation and friendship.

Not myself

Do you ever have those days where you just cannot get motivated to make something of yourself? Well, for the past month that has been my life. I really have so much to do: finish my masters, write about a million papers, and finish my missions application. However, the more I have to do, the less motivated I am to do it. I am really not sure where this comes from seeing as I am a habitual doer. I do not feel productive unless I can cross everything off my official to-do list. And yet, here I sit on my computer writing about how I just can't even begin to think about being productive. In fact, it is almost 3 in the afternoon and I am still in my pajamas listening to Ingrid. I need to do something. Get dressed. Clean. Anything to be productive. Maybe I am tired, maybe I am lazy, or maybe..... Maybe I know I am leaving in a year and I think that the less I do, the longer I can stay here. Don't get me wrong, I want to go on missions, but in all actuality is not something I would plan for myself. I like the idea of staying here, teaching, getting married.... But adventure is calling me and sometimes the call is so loud I can barely hear myself think. So maybe today is one of those days. Maybe today its ok to not be like my normal self. I think I will enjoy it. Spend it with people I love and just hope that they will inspire me to get moving like they normally do.

The Christian VS. the Non-Christian

 Its amazing to see Christians struggle with sin. I have met so many Christians who believe that they have to hide their sins and strongholds from others. They hold these things within themselves because they feel like they are alone in their sin. The problem with that is it is just not true. We feel as Christians that we have to be perfect, and while we must strive to be like Christ, being perfect was never part of the plan. You know the only difference between a Christian and a Non-Christian or a man with bread and a beggar is that the man with bread knows where to find the food and the beggar does not. The Christian knows where to find grace and love and the non-Christian doesn't. Although we were called to pick up our crosses and follow Christ, I have never found any verse that calls us to hide our sins and our imperfections because we should be perfect. There is value and growth in sharing your struggles with others. There is no person without sin, and there will always be someone else who struggles with the same sins. Either way, there is nothing you can do to make Christ love you less. He is the same yesterday, today, and tomorrow. He loved you the same yesterday as He did today and as He will tomorrow. All you have to do is accept and bathe in that love. A wise friend once encouraged me with these famous words by Oswald Chambers, "When God gives you a clear determination of His will for you, all your striving to maintain that relationship is completely unnecessary. All that is required is to live a life of absolute dependence on Jesus Christ." So friends, brothers, sisters, be encouraged today. Whatever your struggle, no matter how bad it seems, there is grace. So find a friend, pray with them, and empty your burden on the shoulders of the great I AM.

French toast and black coffee....

Its funny the things that make me smile. Today was a long work day followed by a trip to the grocery store. All I could think about was getting home, putting on my pjs and drinking coffee. Oh! and of course.... french toast for dinner.... mmmmmm. Just the thought of this brought me joy. I am really not sure the reason for my happiness, but there is just something about coffee that creates organization in a life full of chaos. Sitting on the couch sipping and relaxing makes my day. Coffee was an excellent discovery. If only I had thought of it first......

I have no words..... just a long sighhhh

New news!!

I always knew God was good, but I guess sometimes it is hard to believe how good..... I have been applying with International Mission Board to be a missionary for two years. God has confirmed over and over that He wants me to go, but He had not confirmed when until last night. My pastor's secretary called me over the weekend sounding frantic and asked me if I could come in and meet my pastor for a meeting. I nervously agreed. At this point I was sure that something had gone terribly wrong with my application seeing as my pastors have been in direct contact with the mission board. So last night, I arrived at church a few minutes early to meet my mentor and pray about the meeting with pastor. When I walked in the door not only was my pastor waiting on me, but my Sunday school teacher, and the missions pastor as well. Right then I thought that all my hard work had gone down the drain and my dreams of being a missionary were not going to happen. Why else would all three men be waiting for me in my pastor's office? So, I sat down hesitantly while they all assured me that everything was fine. Pastor said he had a proposal for me...something I had never thought of and this is what he said:

"Katie you have been a blessing in our church since you joined a few months ago. We are so excited for what God is calling you to do, and we want to help you achieve your dream. So, we have been talking with IMB and have come up with a plan for you. Currently you are a perfect candidate for IMB, but we cannot fill out your recommendations with integrity because we do not know you very well. We are impressed by your character and your ability to teach already, and we want to do what we can to get you where God wants you. So, here is what we all have collectively discussed. We think that you would be a wonderful asset to our church. So, we want you to come on board our team and assist Dwight (the missions pastor) with everything he does. Basically what you will be doing is going on most of the mission trips with the church. Leading the trips, planning the trips, and organizing the trips. You will also be assisting with ESOL, block parties, kids camps, and you will also be assisting the missions committee for the next year. This will prepare you for your trip. All three of us, plus Shawn (my current spiritual mentor) will be mentoring you for the next year."

This news astounded me. I have never been to a church that sincerely wanted to help me in all that I need. I actually get to go on staff with my church and go into the office everyday to help them. This is a volunteer position, but the experience I will be getting is priceless. Me?! In charge of whole mission trips, being the team leader of the trips! I get to go to India, Costa Rica and possibly even Rowanda. How incredible is that? So for those of you who thought I was leaving in six months.... well.... you get me for one more year! I will be able to save money and I will be much more prepared to leave. 

Even though this was great news, I had already resigned from my job, so this morning I had to go back to my boss to get it back. My position I have now as an ESOL teacher is no longer available, but the position I have wanted for the past two years was. So not only is God preparing me, but he also provided a job for me as a first grade lead teacher. My parents are no longer worried about me going, and the peace I feel about going is indescribable. God is good!

Welcome to my world

So I decided that since I am about to start a new chapter in my life, it would be a good idea to write about the journey to get there. So far I am still in the application process to become a missionary for two years. So far God has opened and closed many doors, all of which have led me here. Waiting for an answer. You would think all of this waiting would drive a girl crazy, but somehow I have found much beauty and grace in the waiting. I am learning that it is the waiting that prepares me, strengthens me, refines me... Surprisingly I have found much peace in not knowing what will happen next, and the growth because of that has been unbelievable. All I can say is God is good. I hope you will stay tuned for upcoming posts and I hope you will be encouraged by what is to come.